Funny Math Jokes for Teachers and Kids


Funny Math Jokes For Teachers and Kids

Good day all... Welcome to Matematrick Blog.. If you a  mathematicians who like Math Jokes, than you are at right place . Here you can find a collection of mathematical humour, funny math jokes, math jokes for kids, good math jokes, math jokes for teachers, corny math jokes, nerdy math jokes, math joke t-shirts etc.
Via the a link in twitter, I found an excellent collection of mathematical humour, math jokes which amazingly includes many jokes I had never seen or heard before, and many of them good ones! For example, the Arithmatic joke made me laugh out loud:
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. #mathjokes

I have decided to write a mathematical humour or math jokes so as to avoid a negative attitude towards learning math in classroom. Here's a math joke I made up for one of my class.

If it seems easy, you're doing it wrong.

The Romans didn't find algebra very challenging, because X was always 10. #mathjokes

Boy: 67% of girls are stupid. Girl: I belong with the other 13%. #mathjokes

Kids: What’s infinity? Math Teacher: Think of a number. Kids: Okay, I’ve got one. Teacher: Good. That’s not it.

"Teacher: How do you solve any equation?
Kids: Multiply both sides by zero."

Romantic Math Jokes

Funny Math Jokes for Kids
Funny Math Jokes
I am one. You are one. Therefore, You and I are one. #logic

Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply. #mathjokes

If the p is small...reject #mathjokes

"What did math eat for dinner?
Pie #mathjokes"

Teacher: "What is seven Q plus three Q?" Kids: " Ten Q"Teacher: "You're Welcome." #mathjokes

Dear Kids.., remember that money can solve anything. Even complicated differential equations. #mathjokes

As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school. #mathjokes

I don't think math is a science. I think it's a religion. And as a math atheist i should be excused from this. #mathjokes

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary math, and those who don't. #mathjokes

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. #mathjokes

Arithmetic is the art of counting up to twenty without taking off your shoes. #mathjokes

We use epsilons and deltas in mathematics because mathematicians tend to make errors. #mathjokes

59 + 34 + 2 + 37 + 97 = some number #mathjokes

Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about. #mathjokes

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant. #mathjokes

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. #mathjokes

There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it! #mathjokes

Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things. #MathJokes

Why are misers good math teachers ? They know how to make every penny count !

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions. #MathJokes

Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination. #MathJokes

Why is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7? He puts down the three and carries the one.

Why is six afraid of seven ? Because seven ate nine.

What animal is best at math ? Rabbits; they multiply fastest !

I'm trying to be perfect at a significance level of 5%. #mathjokes

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians at the beach? A: They have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun! #mathjokes

When she told me I was average, she was just being mean. #omgthatspunny #mathjokes

They didn't have. And then they did. It was hiding in a Lagrangian point. #mathjokes

The worst thing about getting hit in the face with pi is that it never ends. #mathjokes

3.14% of sailors are pi rates #mathjokes

Did you hear that joke about the infinite line? Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point. #MathJokes

"Pi to i: Get real!
i to Pi : Get rational!
#MathJokes"

"They call me Jo Pie, but you can call me Jo 3.14159..." #mathjokes

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the other. #mathjokes

Trigonometry is a sine of the times #mathjokes

My maths teacher called me average....well that's just mean! #mathjokes

What is purple and commutes? - An abelian grape. #mathjokes

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't #mathjokes

I had a cold yesterday, but now I'm back to (2πσ^2)^-0.5 * exp[-(x-μ)^2 / 2*σ^2]. #mathjokes

Need a math revelation! Lord, give me a sine! #mathjokes

"Katsumi, your head is a triangle. Acute triangle!!" #MathJokes

Girl's name on True Life is Domain? I hope her boyfriend's name is Range. #mathjokes

Why didn't the number 4 get into the disco? Because he is 2 square #mathjokes

Life is complex. It has real and imaginary components. #mathjokes

Statistics means never having to say you're certain #mathjokes

There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't. #mathjokes

The Romans didn't find algebra very challenging, because X was always 10 #mathjokes

"Why didn't sin and tan go to the party?" "... just cos!" #mathjokes

Why is the area of a circle A = pi r^2? Pi aren't square. Pi are round. Cake are square. #mathjokes

If you got $10 from 10 people, what would you have ? A new bike !

"Imaginary numbers are real! Complex numbers are simple!" #mathjokes

You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that aren't divisible by two #mathjokes

iPhone = √(-Phone^2) #mathjokes

What is the parity of infinity? odd or even? ∞ is even if and only if it is odd! Proof: ∞ = ∞ + 1 #mathjokes

Q: What's yellow and imaginary? A: The square-root of negative banana. Credit: #BrianGreene. #mathjokes

In Alaska, where it gets very cold, pi is only 3.00. Everything shrinks in the cold.They call it Eskimo pi. #mathjokes

Logic and Funny Math Jokes

Theorem: A cat has nine tails. Proof: No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat,it must have nine tails #mathjokes

Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components. #mathjokes

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't... #mathjokes

"A mathematician is asked by a friend who is a devout Christian: Do you believe in one God?
He answers: Yes - up to isomorphism. #mathjokes"

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. #mathjokes

Mathematicians never die - they only loose some of their functions. #mathjokes

"Q: What is sour, yellow, and equivalent to the axiom of choice...
A: Zorn's lemon... #mathjokes"

"Q: What is polite and works for the phone company?
A: A deferential operator... #mathjokes"

"Q: What is purple and commutative?
A: An abelian grape...  #mathjokes"

"Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles?
A: Warsaw! #mathjokes"

"Statistics shows that most people are abnormal because
acording to statistics, a normal person has one breast and one testicle. #mathjokes"

"Q: How do you call a one-sided nudie bar?
A: A Möbius strip club. #mathjokes"

Q: How do you make one burn? A: Differentiate a log fire! #mathjokes

The shortest math joke ever: let epsilon < 0 #mathjokes

I heard 7 eight 9 and got algebra. #mathjokes

If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get? The wrong answer !

Who invented fractions? Henry the Eighth !

"Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"

Q. What's purple and commutes? A. An Abelian grape. #mathjokes

Q. What do you call a dead parrot? A Polygon #soimaNerd #mathjokes

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Godel:It cannot be proved whether the chicken crossed the road #mathjokes

Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt! #MathJokes

Do you know that 87.166253% of all statistics claim a precision of results that is not justified by the method employed? #MathJokes

"Q: How can you tell that a mathematician is extroverted?
A: When talking to you, he looks at your shoes instead of at his. #MathJokes"

"Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
A: An algae-bra. #MathJokes"

How are you doing in arithmetic ? I've learned to add up the zeros, but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

What makes arithmetic hard work ? All those numerals you have to carry.

"A logician at Safeway.
""Paper or plastic?""
""Not 'not paper and not plastic'!"" #MathJokes"

"The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again..." #MathJokes

"Q: Do you already know the latest stats joke?
A: Probably...  #MathJokes"

"Q: Why do mathematicians often confuse Christmas and Halloween?
A: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25. #MathJokes"

A French mathematician's pick up line: "Voulez vous Cauchy avec moi?" #MathJokes

"Q: What is normed, complete, and yellow?
A: A Bananach space... #MathJokes"

"Q: What is a topologist?
A: A person who cannot tell a doughnut from a coffee mug. #MathJokes"

"Q: How does a mathematician call his dog?
A: Cauchy - because it leaves a residue at every pole... #MathJokes"

Let epsilon be less than zero... #MathJokes

Here's another a funny Questions and Answer math jokes. 

What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?
Geometry !

What do you have to know to get top grades in geometry ?
All the angles !

What kind of pliers do you use in arithmetic?
Multipliers !

If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
One dollar.
You don't know your arithmetic.
You don't know my father !

Rama stood quietly as her father examined her report card.
"What is this 45 in math?" asked her father.
"I think that's the size of the class," she said quickly!

If I had five coconuts and I gave you three, how many would I have left ?
I don't know.
Why not ?
In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges.

If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have ?
Big hands !

The teacher was giving her Kidss a quiz on counting. Rama got things started by counting from 1 to 10. "Now, Rana," said the teacher, "you take over, beginning with 11."
"11, 14, 23, 42, 26," said Rana.
"What kind of counting is that'?" asked the teacher
"Who's counting'?" replied Rana. "I'm calling signals."

Why was the maths book unhappy?
It had too many problems !
Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?
Rama: Nine.
Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight.
Rama: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!

Birds on the mountain,
Fish in the sea,
How you passed math
Is a mystery to me.

Rana: I got 100 in school today.
Mother: Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?
Rana: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History.
Mother: Well, at least you can add !

I got 100 in an arithmetic test and still didn't pass.
Why not, for goodness sake?
Because the answer was 200.

The teacher was reviewing counting with her first-grade class. "Rama," she asked, "can you count to 10 without mistakes?"
"Yes," said Rama, and she did.
"Now, Rana," said the teacher, "can you count from 10 to 20?"
"That depends," said Rana, "with or without mistakes"!

Teacher: Can you count to 10?
Rama: Yes, teacher. (counting on her fingers at waist level) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Teacher: Good. Now can you count higher?
Rama: Yes, teacher. (She puts her hands over her head and counts on her fingers.) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Teacher: Can you count to 10?
Rana: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Teacher: Now go on from there.
Rana: Jack, Queen, King.

Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be?
Rana: None!
Teacher (surprised): Why not?
Rana: Because you can't lay eggs!

TEACHER: Rana, take 932 from 1,439. What is the difference?
Rana: That's what I say; what's the difference`?

Rana: I've added these figures ten times.
Teacher: Good work!
Rana: And here are my ten answers !

My dog is great at math.
Really ?
Ask him how much is two minus two.
But two minus two is nothing!
That's what he'll answer, nothing!

I failed every subject except for algebra.
How did you keep from failing that ?
I didn't take algebra !

Teacher: Are you good at math ?
Kids: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean ?
Kids: Yes, I'm no good at math !

Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please ?
Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet. I remember looking for it when I was a boy !

A Good and Funny Math Jokes for Teachers and Kids

Funny Math Jokes for Teachers
Funny Math Jokes for Teachers
Teacher: Did you parents help you with these homework problems ?
Kids: No I got them all wrong by myself !

Teacher, I can't solve this problem.
Any five year old should be able to solve this one.
No wonder I can't do it then; I'm nearly ten !

Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Kids: 4.
Teacher: That's good.
Kids: Good ?, that's perfect !

Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4 ?
Kids: That's not fair; you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one !

Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Kids: Up and down or across ?
Teacher: What do you mean ?
Kids: Well,up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0.

Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4 ?
Class: At once !

If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left ?
None; they were all copycats !

TEACHER: If you had 36 cents in one pocket and 59 cents in the other pocket, what would you have?
Kids: Somebody else's pants.

TEACHER: How do you find the square root of 144?
Kids: I generally ask someone who's smarter than I am.

TEACHER: If you had two dimes and your brother gave you a nickel, how much money would you have?
Kids: Twenty cents.
TEACHER: You don't know your mathematics.
Kids: You don't know my brother.

TEACHER: Remember, class, you can't add apples and oranges.
Kids: My mother does it all the time. She calls it fruit cocktail.

Math Jokes in the Classroom

TEACHER: If you have 5 people and only 4 apples, how would you divide
them?
Kids: I'd ask someone to go get a knife and whoever was stupid enough to go
wouldn't get an apple.

TEACHER: Let X equal the unknown quantity. Now, if X + 10 = 20, and X - 5 = 5, what is X?
Kids: As far as I'm concerned, it's still the unknown quantity.

TEACHER: Can you count from 1 to 20?
Kids: I'm not sure. How about if I just count from 1 to 10 twice?

TEACHER: Today we're studying percentages. If there are ten questions on a quiz and you get ten correct, what do you get?
Kids: Accused of cheating.

What do you call an arithmetic teacher who can make numbers disappear?
A mathemagician.

How far open were the windows in the math class?
Just a fraction.

That's it a post about Funny Math Jokes For Teachers and Kids. Thank you for the visit and had the pleasure to read my post about Funny Math Jokes For Teachers and Kids. Hope can make you smile in the middle of busy work. If you have another math jokes that you can add to my collection through the comment section below this post . Thanks. Best Regards.

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